It must be Valentine's Day because I have never seen so many condoms.

 

Free condoms. Free unused condoms. (It's important to clarify these things.) But, seriously: The retailers of the world are making sure that no man is left behind with the first Valentine's Day of the decade. The crushing pressure men must experience! Tireless planning, losing sleep. Turning to Jack Bauer for the answers. It's adorable and it can get ugly. This year, they have rescued your men, thus rendering them excuseless. 

 

First things first: They have to butter her up. Showing up empty-handed sets the tone for the night. It says, "I'm dead inside." Although it may be true, it's the wrong message. We have had several deals submitted to us, cheap (sorry, "inexpensive") courting options for the suave saver. 1-800-Flowers is having a special through Friday, which offers discounted floral displays, free shipping and no service charges. Edible Arrangements has a nice $5.00 off coupon. Or, they might realize, "I can do that for free" and use this do-it-yourself guide. Or, you could make the kids do it and take all the credit. The very desperate and cynical might appreciate a more forward approach to the evening.

 

The solid foundation to any V-Day is the meal. The Deal-Lovers (no pun intended) of the world will be happy to know there are plenty of options out there, whether you're looking to impress or you're looking for a way out. Restaurant.com extended their gift certificate sale until the 14th, so you can still get 80% off gift certificates to several, great restaurants near you. I'm not a believer in "math," but if you will end up paying $4.00 for $50.00 gift cards. So, if the meal sucks, you didn't pay much! If you still can't find an escape route with your sweetie, head over to Chuck E. Cheese to get five free tokens towards a hot, steamy SkeeBall game. Or, if you're more creative (and my dream guy), send your love a Krispy Kreme Valentine which holds a coupon for a free doughnut. Whichever route you choose, you're bound for some penny-pinching passion.

 

By now, the wallets are full and the engines are reved for the next frugal step in flirtation. By now, the kids have been dropped off at IKEA for the weekend. The romantic and free playlist from Amazon is ready to go. She's opened her scentual bath set from Kohl's and is enjoying her heart-shaped cheesecake (which was waiting around in case the homemade recipes didn't live to tell the love story). What's next? The deal angels are pointing people in a very specific direction: Condoms. BeatThat saw lots of different "Free Condom" deals in the last week. From a smörgåsbord, to condoms promoted by beer, all the way to a classic, the free sample. Thanks to them, the pitter of the heart won't lead to the patter of little feet.

 

And, thanks to us, the lovely women of the world won't be left wanting more. Only saving.

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